When I asked my friend Becky frankly about the secret transformations of women, she did not hesitate for a second. She responded by “washing the dishes” while her husband looked at her in disbelief. “This is hot!”
For many women, businesses do not revolve around traditional romantic gestures, such as getting roses or sanctifying while having dinner by candlelight. Simple daily rites, like a plate or a coffee together at dawn, can be quite exciting. (Listen, guys, you do not even need to jump to get a card).
Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, couples therapist in Mt. “When a partner is able to trust this type of small loving gesture, it makes that kind of communication absolutely necessary to establish a relationship between good and bad and all Follies, “says Kissco, New York, author of” A Brief Guide to a Happy Marriage. ” .
“Gestures of care make women feel good, men do not realize how important they are to women when it comes to running in the bedroom,” she says.
Throw the grocery store
Laurie Bezzuko, a writer and mother who lives in a Brooklyn home in New York, says her husband not only helps with the dishes, but also with household chores and the care of his two-year-old daughter. But the most appreciated thing is that when she returns home from the store, he will always get out in the car to help unload the suitcases because he knows that she is suffering his misfortune.
“What makes her special,” she says, “is that he does not have anything to do with me or complains, he just thinks that these things are what husbands should do.
Sharing a glass of joe
He married Beverly Solomon of Lampasas, Texas, the artist and designer Pablo Solomon for 35 years and works with him in the management of his works of art.
“Of course, there are many reasons that have suffered with our love,” she says. “But the only thing I really like is that Pablo brought me the first cup of coffee every morning.”
He gets up much earlier than he does and makes coffee while he starts working on his art. When he sees the light coming from his bed, he brings him coffee.
“We usually have a cup together on our own balcony while we watch the sun on our farm,” he says. “We like to give thanks and plan our time.”
Give him a break
After a long day at work, Robin Seabold, a psychiatrist in Melbourne, Florida, says her five-year-old husband knows exactly how to elevate his spirit. You would be surprised to show up at your workplace with your truck and load your car on its flat surface.
“I feel like I’m putting out fires, so finally, the last thing I want to do is do something else like drive home,” he says. “So when I leave work and sit in the parking lot waiting for me patiently, it always makes me smile!
Shower with desserts
Teresa Joyce, product designer in Austin, Texas, loves how her husband brings home candy several times a week. He does not have sweet teeth, but he knows how much she wants chocolate, so on his way to work he stops at the vending machine to get almond syrup or Hershey syrup.
“After 20 years of marriage, you’re not cute,” she says. “We do not talk much during the day, so I know he thinks of me.”
Saying “I’m sorry”
Perret Brugard, professor of philosophy and psychology at the University of Missouri, St. Louis, is one of them. But what I liked most about his partner in a previous relationship was that he hurried to say: “I’m sorry” when he was clearly wrong.
“A simple apology when it’s worth expressing a kind of deep respect for the other person,” she says. “Once you’re with a passionate emotional person, I do not care about the dishes anymore or who does what.
Patricia Klingler, a life coach in Bellevue, Washington, says she likes to look at her husband when he does not look at him and see the child in him.
“Most men still have this inner child who is curious and innocent,” she says. “My heart is agitated when I see a man who does not need to solve all the problems and knows every answer and simply enjoys the moment … The real transformation is that he completely ignores my clues, which makes innocence more surprising” .
How to add small twists
All these transformations, whether they occur every day or each week, can enrich and strengthen the relationship. It is important to appreciate these links, especially when we fall into the circle of our busy daily life.
“It’s a constant need, no matter where you are in a relationship,” says O’Neill. “The hope is that if you put these kinds of behaviors all the time, you will not feel like you’ll have to work hard on them later on.”
“What I’ve seen for many years is that these small behaviors, when considered individually, are certainly not destructive to Earth, but over time, they create a much larger amount of their parts.”
But keep in mind that what can be a change for a woman is transformation for another woman. “It’s very personal,” says O’Neill. “For me, I love it when my husband says, ‘Let’s walk together’ at the end of a long week, it’s better than taking flowers home.”